Apr 2, 2010
Unusually Truly Good, vol 1
Sometime in my life I stopped immersing myself in the stories I read and began to evaluate the characters. I learned in Adolescent Literature that moving beyond the immersion stage (stage 1) to moral analyzing (stage 2-3) is growth, so I guess you could say this is when I started to grow. I began to realize that the people I knew who lived by a codified moral system floundered when confronted with issues that weren't covered in their lists. For a while, maybe, it made me doubt the integrity of those systems, but then I realized the problem wasn't the systems. The problem was the attitude that fulfilling a checklist meant you were good.
Oddly enough, I didn't learn that rather cliched piece of wisdom from my parents, or my pastor, or my friends. I learned it from a couple of characters. These people finally gave some meaning, for me, at least, to the word "good."
Joseph (of Biblical fame; Mary and Joseph)
Joseph sticks out to me especially when I recall Claudio from Much Ado About Nothing. Joseph's situation actually appears worse than Claudio's. Joseph has tangible evidence of Mary's infidelity (she's actually pregnant), while Claudio has only overheard sexual moanings based on the reports of a man with a bad track record before and during the play's history. While Joseph is entering into what appears to be an arranged marriage, Claudio professes love of the most romantic kind. (The play, of course, establishes that his idealistic "love" is inappropriately pragmatic, selfish, and shallow, but that is another post). His love at least should have inspired some compassion, or even respect, but he cannot summon either. Joseph, in the midst of a seemingly far more patriarchal culture, had lawful justification to have his future wife scorned, and possibly stoned. Now, you could argue that Joseph was a pushover, unwilling to make a scene, but none of the accounts provide evidence to support that claim. The Bible, however, does provide the catalyst for Joseph's behavior in one crucial statement. "But Joseph, being a just man, was determined to put her away privily." Guess what? Joseph was a good man. That's it. His desire to do right superseded any stirrings of ego, love, hate, or revenge. He didn't have anything to prove.
I never realized how unusual Joseph's character was until several things happened.
1) For several months, I was daily in the company of a girl on the brink of engagement. Her boyfriend was away, but they spoke on the phone, wrote letters, and sent emails. She was excited about their future. And then one day he broke up with her. Genuine grief I was prepared for. Endless insults were another story. Two days before she had been praising this guy; now she was calling all her pre-boyfriend friends to dish about his faults. Before, he was the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. After, he was a rude, self-absorbed jerk and they were better off apart. I'm summarizing and moderating, but you've been there. You know what it's like.
2) Another friend had broken up with his girlfriend. His situation was somewhat different than the girl above; his breakup was as mutual as breakups ever can be, but he missed her. A lot. Up until the day he found someone new. All of a sudden, the previous girlfriend was evil. Not just to alleviate the insecurities of his new girlfriend, because all of us, his friends and family, heard about the 1st girl's unsuitability.
Big deal, you say, everyone drags down their exes to help save face, or move on, or just because they can now say what they've been holding in for months.
Exactly.
Joseph didn't.
Oddly enough, I didn't learn that rather cliched piece of wisdom from my parents, or my pastor, or my friends. I learned it from a couple of characters. These people finally gave some meaning, for me, at least, to the word "good."
Joseph (of Biblical fame; Mary and Joseph)
Joseph sticks out to me especially when I recall Claudio from Much Ado About Nothing. Joseph's situation actually appears worse than Claudio's. Joseph has tangible evidence of Mary's infidelity (she's actually pregnant), while Claudio has only overheard sexual moanings based on the reports of a man with a bad track record before and during the play's history. While Joseph is entering into what appears to be an arranged marriage, Claudio professes love of the most romantic kind. (The play, of course, establishes that his idealistic "love" is inappropriately pragmatic, selfish, and shallow, but that is another post). His love at least should have inspired some compassion, or even respect, but he cannot summon either. Joseph, in the midst of a seemingly far more patriarchal culture, had lawful justification to have his future wife scorned, and possibly stoned. Now, you could argue that Joseph was a pushover, unwilling to make a scene, but none of the accounts provide evidence to support that claim. The Bible, however, does provide the catalyst for Joseph's behavior in one crucial statement. "But Joseph, being a just man, was determined to put her away privily." Guess what? Joseph was a good man. That's it. His desire to do right superseded any stirrings of ego, love, hate, or revenge. He didn't have anything to prove.
I never realized how unusual Joseph's character was until several things happened.
1) For several months, I was daily in the company of a girl on the brink of engagement. Her boyfriend was away, but they spoke on the phone, wrote letters, and sent emails. She was excited about their future. And then one day he broke up with her. Genuine grief I was prepared for. Endless insults were another story. Two days before she had been praising this guy; now she was calling all her pre-boyfriend friends to dish about his faults. Before, he was the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. After, he was a rude, self-absorbed jerk and they were better off apart. I'm summarizing and moderating, but you've been there. You know what it's like.
2) Another friend had broken up with his girlfriend. His situation was somewhat different than the girl above; his breakup was as mutual as breakups ever can be, but he missed her. A lot. Up until the day he found someone new. All of a sudden, the previous girlfriend was evil. Not just to alleviate the insecurities of his new girlfriend, because all of us, his friends and family, heard about the 1st girl's unsuitability.
Big deal, you say, everyone drags down their exes to help save face, or move on, or just because they can now say what they've been holding in for months.
Exactly.
Joseph didn't.
